Tuesday, May 29, 2012

37 Weeks: The final count down...


 So yeah, I have back pain when I walk, move around or stand up.  This baby jams against my cervix and sometimes my lower back, causing a pretty intense pain (thankfully, always short-lived though). And yeah, somehow this has actually given me a "pregnancy walk."  And it's getting really hard to fake walking normally at this point.  But, despite this, I still love having this baby in my belly.  I want to meet him, of course.  Dying to see what sort of little baby he is.  Will he look like our first son?  What will his temperament be like?  I have to say, from Day 1 with our first born, D, he has made his personality known.  Feisty, demanding a lot of attention, but loving, gentle, curious and strong (among many other characteristics).  So what will this baby do the moment he's born?  At week 1?  Month 2?  What will his awesome little belly laugh sound like?  And who will he grow into as his personality takes shape?  It is going to be such an incredible awesome ride.


But for now, he's in my belly. And he's mine. "Mine, all mine." And while I'll love the world seeing him, I also love our special quiet moments together now, where the world does not see him. Unless they look carefully enough and see that fluid movement of my belly or an elbow pushing out or a sudden WHAM as he kicks. This hasn't been as easy as a pregnancy as my first, just in the nature of its being a second. I have a toddler to take care of and can't rest or relax as I could before. But it has still been a wonderful pregnancy, and I know I will remember these days very fondly. And I know part of me is going to miss having the baby inside of me.  I'll never forget the feeling of after giving birth, my belly feeling so empty, so quiet and still.  Relaxing in some ways, but I also missed it in other ways.  I write this all now while my baby is twisting and spinning and pushing away inside of me, nonstop, continual.

Right now, I know where my baby is at all times. He is safe, within me, my little womb baby. He is adorable in every way, even though I can't see him. I almost can't believe I am capable of bringing another life into this world. It seems such a strange idea that I did this once, but to be able to do this great honorable thing two times? It is an honor, a blessing, and I thank God for my little baby boy.

And I can't wait to hold him, to cuddle him, and to bring him into our family.

1 comment:

grandma berta said...

We can't wait either! Soon, very soon...