Wednesday, April 4, 2012

30 Weeks Pregnant: Nesting...or something

I'd love to say my nesting urge has kicked in and I'm doing all those fun things, like filling out the "About Mom" section of a baby book, washing clothes, setting up the nursery.  But we're far from that point.  I don't even have a baby book yet, haven't located my 3-year-old's old clothing in the basement, and our nursery is still basically a small play room/living room for our toddler, D.

But I am certainly busy.  Since February, when we started renovations on our apartment (turning said living room into a potential baby room--adding walls, a door, among other renovations), I feel like it has been almost nonstop.  My list of things "to do" seems to only slightly diminish, no matter how many items I check off.  Then again, it is awfully hard to check items off the list when your days are entirely filled and your "time off" doesn't start until 8:30pm.  And then you still have to clean up from the day, sort mail, take a shower, eat if necessary, exercise, and get ready for bed.  And share some time with your husband!

So I'm not sure if I can really call this "nesting" or just "trying to get done all these things which I've needed to do for weeks, months, or years."  But I guess the sense of urgency to get it done before the baby arrives is certainly something.  And in some ways, it's good.  It's getting me to finally get my engagement ring fixed (a prong fell out a year and a half ago), to get that new computer and digital camera I desperately need but never want to research, to get a play and a compilation book on, to research (and eventually buy) that bigger car that we've been desperately needing for 3 years now, to get a new phone to replace my 4 year old clunker... There is furniture to be purchased, then put together, curtains and rods to be put up, closets and storage rooms to organize.  My birthday is coming up, I have to plan D's birthday and his party.  I want to keep writing in this blog.  Even small things, like "change the filter on the brita" is written down, because somehow I feel that it's important for even that little thing to be done before the baby comes.  I mean, who is going to be checking the date on the brita when the baby needs changing?

And this is what makes me think, yeah, I guess it's nesting.  I mean, isn't it still quite possible that I'd remember to change the brita filter when the baby is 1 week old?  Yes, of course it's possible.  My mind won't be entirely gone, even if it partially is due to sleep deprivation.  But there is this sense that anything that can be done before the baby arrives should be done.  Leave no stone unturned.  Expect and assume that I won't have time to do these other things once my time is split between my baby and my toddler...and can it also be split between myself and my husband and my friends and family?...Split, I guess, but not in half.

On top of this, I remain as active as always.  We have our playgroup once a week, a preschool library class once a week, and a gym class once a week.  That leaves 2 days "free" a week with my toddler, but we always have plans with friends (or an OB appointment) on the off days.  Our weekends also are booked with parties, social events, car shopping, more major projects I need Mike's help with.  I think this is why I have such a sense of urgency.  If I am this busy now,  I think, how much more will I be once I have two children instead of one?  And if, as one logically assumes, I will have less time (some people say having your 2nd child is more than double the work.  Then again, others say it's easier the second time around), then doesn't it stand to reason that now is the time to get all this other stuff out of the way?  Before my time disappears even more?

It does stand to reason.  But, it also stands to reason that, unless it really is necessary, a lot of this stuff can wait.  What will really happen if I don't get that brita filter changed?  Aren't there a lot of people drinking tap water out there who survive just fine?

Yes, there are.  But again, when a pregnant woman has her mind set on cleaning house, well, that's exactly what's going to happen. Or you'll go into early labor trying!

And here, I'd like to give a huge thank you to the people who understand this about me, indulge me, and even help me.  My mother and father--they are troopers.  They come to visit me, and they are met with "to do" lists.  They don't complain about it though.  They just help me.  They forgo a visit of dining out, watching movies and playing games to help me with lining curtains and putting together bookcases.  They are awesome.  Thank you, Mom and Dad!  I love you!  A big thank you to my in-laws.  They babysit and help out whenever they can, traipsing to their car in NYC, making the trek through the traffic (and back again to find parking), and relieve me of my mom-duties for a short period of time so I can run 4 errands in an hour (something that is hard to do when you're taking your toddler in and out of a car/cart each time), or visit a friend.  I love you too!  And of course, I have to thank my husband.  Man, I do thank you, Mike!  I may seem like a task master at times, but I appreciate every little thing you do to help me out!  Especially as I am getting bigger and my back is aching, the help you give me, from moving furniture, to washing dishes, and every single (and many) thing in between--you help me out and make my life and stress level easier.  I love you!

And all this nesting is supposed to pay off.  Right?  I mean, that's the point.  It has already, given the many things we've accomplished.  It's all work to put toward finally being able to relax.  To rest.  To spend time together as a family and to not be stressing over the many things that we did not get to complete.  And I do believe this day will come.  In the mean time, I still need to make sure I enjoy the days I have.  Enjoy this pregnancy, enjoy my husband and my awesome little growing child.  There must be moments of relaxation in the mean time, because one can't burn a candle on both ends.  Right?

When our first baby was born, we were doing our last big "chore" right up until the end.  There we were, 9pm, at H & R Block, finishing our taxes.  Finally.  Done.  April 14.  We got home around 10pm, snapped some "39 week" pictures, and, ah...breathe a sigh of relief.  All the big tasks were done.  One week left before my due date with nothing but fun social plans ahead.

Then a few hours later, my water broke.  12:56pm, April 15, our son was born.

I guess God knew what He was doing.  At least we got our taxes done!

Ok, so give me a little more time this time around, God.  At least 2 nights.  Two nights of some relaxation, no plans. Just vegging out with Mike and/or D.  Then my water can break.  And we'll go on that awesome ride again. :)

1 comment:

grandma berta said...

I hope you've managed to get those 2 nights in by now! I sensed "nesting" going on when we were there in March/ April. I mentioned that to someone. And what isn't done... it'll still be there and can be done... later!