So chivalry, at least when it comes to pregnant ladies, is not entirely dead. And it's not entirely for knights or even men. Men and women both, I've found, are actually really nice to pregnant ladies.
From the time I started showing, people would immediately start up conversations with me. If I were with my toddler, they'd ask if he knew, what he thought of the pregnancy. If I were alone, they'd ask if this were my first, how I was feeling.
Now, no one has let me cut in line on account of my aching back, but people have done some things that I doubt they normally would have. So I'll savor these moments, while I still can! To name a few...
1) Pizza delivery guy insists he carry my order up the stairs for me. I say, "Oh, no, I'm fine," at first, but then, hey, why not. I don't actually look forward to carrying up these boxes anyway.
2) The cashier at CVS asks me if I want her to carry my bag of items to the car. Now, this surprises me. Trader Joe's asks me this from time to time (pregnant or not), but someone at CVS? Never. I tell her I think I'll be fine (I"m not with my toddler, so carrying anything always seems easier!). "Are you sure?" She asks. "It's not too heavy?" "No, I'll be all right. But thank you." I then tell her how I really appreciate her offering, how no one there has ever asked that before, and it is quite thoughtful, and if the bag were heavier, I'd take her up on her offer.
3) At Club Med in Florida, I'm standing by the tray of scrambled eggs. One lady is scooping up the breakfast onto her plate, sees me, then backs away, "Oh, I'm sorry! Go ahead." I'm taken aback at first. She's already serving herself, she was there before me, why would she want me to cut in and go ahead of her? "Oh, I'll wait. It's no problem," I tell her. To the other side of her, another pregnant woman stands, waiting, also. "I'm just--I'm surrounded by pregnant women," she laughs, "I don't want to make you wait." I tell her I really appreciate the thoughtfulness, but I'm really fine.
I also ask people for things. My back aches, and I have a lot of braxton hicks contractions which often make it difficult to walk in the moment. So if the UPS guy drops off a 100+ pound box of furniture at the bottom of the porch steps, and I'm walking out the door, I'm going to ask, "Would you mind just bringing that in the front door? Thanks so much!" The men are always gracious and do this, and I'm sure Mike appreciates this also. If I drop something in line at a store and someone offers to pick it up, I'll let them. Anything to keep me from bending over more than I need to. If my belly is in the way of my reaching up to get an item, I'll ask someone nearby if they can get it for me. If I'm at Home Depot and I don't feel comfortable putting a heavy box of tiles in my shopping cart, I'll ask the guy near me if he can do it.
Honestly, I may ask for some of this help, pregnant or not. People, in general, like to help. I like to help. When there is a pregnant woman around, or a new mom pushing a stroller, I will do all I can to make things easier for her. I mean, come on. She's got a life in her! Or she's just given a life to this world. The least I can do is hold the door for her while she gets that giant stroller into the post office.
Being pregnant shows the world you're harboring a little person inside of you. And it's not always easy. It can be hard work, and sometimes even the smallest things can create challenges. Heck, my poor belly gets way too many scratches on it because I keep forgetting it's there when I round corners! It's good to see goodness abound in other people when they see the goodness growing in your belly.
2013: The Year in Pictures
5 years ago