So BabyCenter gives you weekly updates on the development of your body and your baby's growth during pregnancy. I usually go to their site once a week to gawk at the see-through shot of the baby in the womb. However, I must not have been there for a while, because I check it out this week and can not believe what the baby looked likes! The last I saw, I could barely make out the baby in the womb; well, I could see the baby, but it didn't look like a baby. It just looked like a little thing, a shape, a tiny pink squiggle from a distance.
But now, not only does the baby look like a baby (its lost most of the alien features), but it now looks like it's actually taking up a bit of space in there! I'm at 14 1/2 weeks right now, so the baby is around 4 inches or so, head to rump. That is the size of some little baby dolls, or figurines; it's bigger than barbie babies.
When I see the picture, I am in such pleasant disbelief, I call Mike over just to look at it. He has the same reaction I do. We both marvel that a precious little baby, and it really is a little baby, is actually living inside of me.
A few years ago, the thought of having a baby inside of me freaked me out. I thought the baby would feel like a parasite or alien, like, "What is it doing in there?!" I knew I was not ready to be pregnant. Then around a year or so ago, I had a dream where I had just delivered a baby. I don't remember being pregnant in the dream, or having the baby, but I remember the feeling I had of no longer being pregnant. I was sad. I remember touching my stomach and feeling that it was not big, hard, round. And I missed that feeling. I started longing to feel pregnant again (even though I had never actually been pregnant, even in my dream! A bit bizarre...).
When I woke up, for the first time ever, I felt it would be amazing to be pregnant. Of course, Mike and I didn't actually want to get pregnant then, but I knew that when we were ready, I would be okay with it. And maybe I would even love it, and maybe even miss it when it was gone. Feelings or thoughts I have due to dreams often fade after a day or so. But this dream was very different. While it was only a dream, that feeling never left me, and I thank God for that (as maybe it was God giving me that little go-ahead after all).
I know pregnancy and delivery and recovering are not going to be easy, but man! It really is such an honor that a woman gets to carry a living child inside of her!
2013: The Year in Pictures
5 years ago