Sunday, September 14, 2008

Pregnancy Week 8: Feeling pregnant or not?

Girls and ladies out there--have you ever come right out and asked a friend if she is pregnant before? Joking or not?

I know that I have asked girls that before. It's often done in a light-hearted manner. She talks about how she is unusually moody. Or how she is feeling sick. I say, "Are you pregnant?" in a secretive tone, eyes wide.

This is standard among women, right? I've admitted I've asked it. And I've been asked it in the past. When we are asked this, we all give the appropriate response, "No, of course not" or possibly, "I don't think so!"

That is, until we actually are pregnant...

Here are a few examples of how people have found out I'm pregnant, all by asking that magic question...

Friend 1:
We are talking about a work issue that is stressing me out. It doesn't really have anything to do with me. I did nothing wrong, but I was made aware of the situation and somehow felt a part of it. I tell my friend how it made me really anxious one night last week, and it kept me up at night. She says, "That's not like you to be so upset over something like this. Why do you think you feel this way? Are you pregnant?"

Friend 2:
We are talking about buying houses in this crazy market (yes, prices have lowered, but if you live in Westchester County, you know you still can't find a good house in a good school district for under $700,000). I talk about how we may just have to settle in a bad school area for now, since we can't afford otherwise. This brings us the topic of having children and for some reason, she asks," Are you having trouble conceiving?"

This is sort of a trick question, because if you say yes, then it implies you've been trying for a while with no luck, which wasn't the case with us. But if you say, no, then it basically shows that you must be pregnant (unless you have gone back on birth control). So I instantly answer her, not even thinking, "No." So the next natural question from her is, of course, "Are you pregnant??"

Friend 3 (my boss at work):
I am at work, in a different room from my boss for a moment, then walk back to the desk where my bag is, and she is staring at me with a half smile and wide eyes. She comes right out and says, "Are you pregnant?"

This one shocks me the most, as there was no lead-in to that question! "Why would you ask that?" I say.

She then points at my bag, where there is a sleeve of saltines peering out. She has just had a baby herself last winter, so she knows what those classic crackers mean. She says one word. "Saltines!"

"Well, this wasn't how I was going to tell you, but..."

So!

I say, yes to all the women to ask.

It sort of makes telling people easier in one way, since how does one bring up the fact, "Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant!" ? Especially when one doesn't even feel pregnant most of the time...

However, I must admit, I am starting to feel a bit pregnant now and then. Or at least feel symptoms of being pregnant. I have not had any mood swings still and I feel pretty good in general. But I do finally have a little nausea. It starts around 8pm and lasts through the night into the morning. It does not help my poor sleeping (no, my sleeping has not improved since my last doctor's visit as I had hoped), especially when I feel obligated to try to eat in the middle of the night to possibly help the nausea, and then feel obligated to brush my teeth, further waking myself up... It feels more like a hangover than upset stomach--a dizzy sort of nausea, where movement makes it worse.

But does this really make me feel pregnant? Or just feel like I have a hangover? When do you actually start feeling pregnant? Not just feeling symptoms that mean you're pregnant?

Mike and I have waves of the realization; we are hit with the thoughts, "Oh, my gosh! There is a baby inside!" Or "We are going to be PARENTS!"

But most of the time, we just go on with our lives, doing what we do, and it doesn't feel that different.

It's just I keep having all these hangovers... :)

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